I don't care if it rains or freezes | Long as I got my plastic Jesus | Riding on the dashboard of my car. |  | Through my trials and tribulations | And my travels through the nations | With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. | Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus, | Riding on the dashboard of my car |  | I'm afraid He'll have to go. | His magnets ruin my radio | And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar. | Riding down a thoroughfare | With His nose up in the air, | A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind. |  | Trouble coming He don't see, | He just keeps His eye on me | And any other thing that lies behind. | Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus, | Riding on the dashboard of my car ... |  | Though the sunshine on His back | Make Him peel, chip and crack, | A little patching keeps Him up to par. | When I'm in a traffic jam | He don't care if I say "damn" | I can let all my curses roll |  | Plastic Jesus doesn't hear | 'Cause he has a plastic ear | The man who invented plastic saved my soul. | Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus, | Riding on the dashboard of my car ... |  | Once His robe was snowy white, | Now it isn't quite so bright - | Stained by the smoke of my cigar. | If I weave around at night, | And policemen think I'm tight, | They never find my bottle - though they ask. |  | Plastic Jesus shelters me, | For His head comes off, you see | He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask. | Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus, |  | Riding on the dashboard of my car ... | Ride with me and have a dram | Of the blood of the Lamb - | Plastic Jesus is a holy bar. # |  | from 'cool hand luke' |  | I don't care if it rains or freezes,  | As long as I got my plastic Jesus | Sittin' on the dashboard of my car. |  | Comes in colors pink and pleasant, | Glows in the dark cause he's iridescent | Take him with you when you travel far. |  | Get yourself a sweet Madonna | Dressed in rhinestones sittin' on a  | Pedestal of abalone shell. |  | Going ninety I ain't scary | Cause I got the Virgin Mary | Assurin' me that I won't go to Hell.